Twin Delivery Day

We found ourselves sitting in bed together at 4am that morning.  We were watching last night’s episode of Ray Donovan.  Mom was uncomfortable with thirst because she had to fast before the procedure, and of course, when you can’t drink, you want to drink.

I was yelled at when I tried to bring my coffee into bed.  She doesn’t even drink coffee, but the idea of me drinking beside her was enough to make her even more thirsty.  So I obliged.  After all, it was delivery day.


Around 6am, I realized that there was a bee’s nest in the front yard that I had been meaning to deal with, and for some stupid reason, I decided that this would be the day to deal with it.  I stood on our front stoop and sprayed the aerosol can into the hole in the ground, hoping to clog it and wipe out the nest.


I managed to piss off the entire family, or colony, and a cloud of bees swarmed out and all over the front yard, making the trip to the car impossible.


I sent a text message to my mother-in-law, telling her to come in the back door when she arrived to take us to the hospital, and I was hoping that she wasn’t thinking that this is what she could expect from me as the father of her soon-to-be-grandchildren.

We managed to get into the car and to the hospital without being stung!  Our bags, boppies, and candy were packed and on their way to the hospital.

Yes, candy.

Mom had packed lots of candy, without realizing that everyone who would pay us a visit would also bring several bags of candy to satisfy her notorious sweet tooth.


We arrived, calmly told the receptionist that we were there to give birth to two babies, and walked back to “the area where people go to have babies” for lack of a better term.  It wasn’t nearly as eventful as I was hoping it would be.  I mean, we were delivering twins!

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The first nurse was great.  She was quick-witted and not afraid to put you in your place.  She was just like my wife.  The two of them got along fabulously and joked around while searching for the babies’ heartbeats and putting in Mom’s IV.


When she put in the catheter, the friendship between these two women was severed.  It was painful for Mom, but she bit her lip, and kept strong like she always does.

After all, the hard part hadn’t even begun yet.